The man in my mirror

Looking back over this year, there are changes that I would like/need to make.  Speaking with the man in my mirror, it’s apparent that we would like to become a better person (not just a better official) collectively.  We need not to worry about what others do/are doing/thinking, how this person does this/that; why these people prefer certain people over other, etc.


God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.


I read a profoundly thought provoking and deep quote recently, and went a little something like…..”  You can’t change the people around you….BUT…you can change the people around you”!!


As an official, along with being former & future president of an official's association, I get calls/texts about things that are really out of any of our control.  Why can’t I get games in this league? Why don’t I get tournament games?  Why does this person get a ton of games and he’s not a good ref, etc.  A lot of the questions I have no control over or idea why (well some I have my opinions, but they are just that, MY opinions).


Now I admit that I have worked with a partner/partners that I don’t really care for as an official and have been professional enough to get through the contest without any noticeable/visible evidence of this.  Did I let it affect my mental preparation?...YES, sometimes to the point where I felt that I gave myself a headache just trying to mentally prepare for what I knew would come, and I simply cannot let others dictate how I am going to feel/perform.  Epic fail on my part, as those are the longest rides home, pouring over this and that, and letting it subtract from goal…Ugh!


Other’s expectations of us vs. the reality of being ourselves can be pretty taxing.  If there are expectations placed upon us by those that say they have your best interest in hand, we can only control what we can control.  I advise staff/officials/etc. not to be one that is passive aggressive with communication, just state what you would like to get across and not convolute the process with having to wade through all of the innuendoes, etc.


The man in my mirror recently asked me “why do you care what some of the others think about your work?” My response was, “I always try to do my best”….he responded “Exactly!!  Do what you have to/required to do, follow/enforce the rules, and let that be what you are known & respected for.  Not everyone is going to like/respect you!  There are those that would like to be where you are, there are those who just don’t like you for your life choices and views and you need to be comfortable enough to deal with that and just be YOU bro!  Your responsibly is to follow God’s plan for you, take care of your family, and all the other stuff will work itself out if/when necessary.”


Again, God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.


Thanks again for taking the time out to read this and have a happy holiday season!